when u feel lonely.....

Its been a long day today.... sometimes i would ask myself, do i really need to live like this in whole life? although i know i will be fighting for my business. but its not the same, its juz something that related to ur heart, to ur soul. i tried to find anything to make me happy, make me fun, but its cure less. i watch back a movie series-家好月圓. i dunno bout u all but it makes me feel like i wanna to be apart of them, to have a good family like them. but reality isn't that good... juz hope that i would have a moment like this, even juz a min. it might be ridiculous, but when i watch a touching scene, seriously i brought down my tears...

Is it a very hard to have a happy family?

Does it cares?

I've been that alone since im 15... maybe yes, but no.. cos on and off i still have some frens around me... actually i scared to be alone cos i hope that have a person taht knows me alot. been in a relationship but its hard cos when ur heart is being broke by others then hosei liao... u won't believe in gals anymore.... i would like to find someone but juz the feeling and the shadow keep telling me don't... m not emo, if ur alone then u will know that nobody is hearing ur feelings, ur voice, ur true heart... sometimes u feel like want to hug somebody badly, cried on them... guys is like this, they are strong in outside but is weak in inside so gals pls, be take care of them and give them some care cos they need somebody to care and love with.... anyway, when it will be me? haiz..

为何会这么无助

全部人都一样, 但是总是会有无助和没能力的一天. 现在整个人觉得人生好像没有目标似的.很讨厌,很象觉得结束自己的人生. 朋友很多也没用, 因为根本不能给我一个非常好的劝告. 只能和我一起颠. 很无聊, 很想找认出来谈谈心事.但没有很好的人选. 脚又受伤了, 不能去一些能散散心的地方. 闷,寂寞,无奈, 这些感觉我每天都在体会, 没工作,没钱,没能力. 觉得人生好像很微罔.

有时问问自己,使自己的问题还是别人的问题. 没有一个人能适合我谈谈心事,没有人能适合我一起陪伴. 难道就这样过完一生吗?

难道选择这么重要吗？

要怎样选择呢？有点困惑。我知道我现在是在犹豫着。。。 真得不知如何是好。人有这么多选择，但是一旦选择了就不能回头，听起来还挺认真的，但是却成为一个事实。见了这么多成功人士，但是还是这么得不放心。为何呢？难道是我自己的心理问题？还是我还过不到我自己那一关。蛮伤脑筋的。。

既然现在前面有两条路给我走，但是却得放松想一下。有时孩子及逃避问题，谁可以叫我怎么办？我需要答复啊。。。。。

freaking sick.....

Things get more worst when something is happening around me, man, U relly think iget a sunburn around here now and really make scratching all the way out. some more i really feel a bit dizzy and don't know why I need to strtch my whole body cos of tiredness. quite late around now and tomorrow i still need to do my own business instead of sittin at home. although these days I really work out for my whole body, football on afternoon, jogging at evening and gym at night. I don;t know what am I really looking for but what i know about now is i will be going to study again.. argh.... its really annoying when my beloved guardians asking me study study study.... Its not that i hate to study but what i know is I really didn;t have the mood to study instead i know what am I looking for my own future... A bit kicked off now when I realize my business is not as I expected. although its not that tough... but what i know is i really need to put the effort on it only I can enjoy the lifestyle that u wanted to be... so, just praty to the god that i can finish my business within my study time and when m graduated, I will not participated in the employment in any companies in the societ, because i know that, for a people that have the greediness to success, u must have the commitment in what u really doing now. Diciplines weighs in ounces but regret weighs in tons. M sure that i will remember that.

寂寞的时候是怎样的

今天是星期六，难得一天今天能休息。但是毕竟我整天都过着这样的生活，蛮无聊的。‘既然这样的话，为什么你还要一个人住呢’？“去找一个女朋友回来咯”。这些都是我朋友给我的两个建议，但是我倒觉得和没有意思。我根本没有亲人，难道要我回去我的亲戚身边吗? 毕竟是亲戚，不适合。去找女朋友回来？我可没兴趣。我还没有事业的时候，我是不会去找我的另一半。但是，有时真不知如何是好，还蛮闷得。整天对这四副墙，睡太多也不好。出去找朋友，他们根本没有时间。那我要做什么呢？电动游戏我更没兴趣，因为我只觉得很浪费时间。有时想下我这个人还蛮怪癖，什么都不做，这个没兴趣，那个没兴趣。“那你要做什么才会令你产生兴趣”？我除了跳舞以外，那我也真不懂要做什么了。又是做下我的事业，就这样过日子。唉，人家觉得我很无聊，我可不会否认。因为我这个人还蛮无聊兼无趣的人。天啊，帮帮我啦，给点提示来吧。因为，我真得不知还要做什么啊！

老了的时候，原来是不会被注重的

昨晚看了‘钱不够用2’，真得给我一个很震撼的心。妈妈为了三个儿子，连棺材本都拿出来用，还在最后一个关头的时候救了她的宝贝孙女。最后我还是忍不住我的眼睛把泪流下来。

我从13岁开始没有这种家庭温馨的温暖。我连要叫声妈妈都没有。所以有时真的有时不知道如何要把自己心情埋没掉。一直以来还是由自己一个人独来独往。虽然现在是在拼着一个自己的事业，希望我的下一代不会这样，但是人的心是肉做的，难免会有一阵子觉得寂寞。

我从13岁就失去了我这一生里最重要的两个人，这7年来都是跟一班朋友度过。但是我也不会觉得很可怜，至少我还有一个友情的存在。这部戏给了我很大的感触，我从晚上不能睡，一直想着，想着。难道人真的会为了自己的个人家庭和事业，而忽略了多年来，怀胎十个月，养育你，安慰你，关心你的母亲吗？这部戏的母亲怀了很多疾病，虽然每天儿子们都回来照顾她，但是，到最后还是送了到觉的老人家会开心的地方-老人院。他不要进去，回头叫着还匆忙离开着她的大儿子，我真得不仅感到流泪，直到那一幕他断气的时候。难道老人家真得那么难照顾吗？虽然我不会觉得很容易，但是至少她也要有一个自己的亲人在隔壁安慰她，关心她。最少也给他一个叫母子或母女的亲情。

那部戏真的对我来说是一个值得看得戏。虽然它里面的成分有乐趣的部分，但是最重要的还是告诉人们到最后一秒，也不要放弃以往照顾我们的双亲。我虽然没有了这份亲情，但是我只知道，如果有一个机会给我，我一定会好好的照顾她。因为我真得很渴望这种时刻，我很想再一次亲亲我那母亲的脸，拥抱和闻闻我父亲身上的味道。

今晚不知道为何会写写这样的部落格，可能在掘强的人，也有软弱的时候。所以真的，给我一个机会的话，我很想珍惜这个机会。只不过可能应该要等到下一世吧。如果你双亲还在世的话，我相信你一定会把握和珍惜这个机会，对吗？